Wedding vows once went something like this:
Bride: I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
However, it doesn’t seem as though those wedding vows have any meaning anymore. Well, not in the Gary and Sara Harvey case anyway. No, in Chemung County, New York, it would seem the vows have become:
“You, Sara, don’t get to take Gary anywhere and neither shall you have him or hold him from this day forward, whether it is for better or worse. We’ll take him for richer and you can pay the insurance to keep him from being poorer, in sickness and infection, until death does he part from us and gets written off the books.”
Who are these people that think so little of their ward, Gary Harvey, and his bride, Sara? Who are these people who toy with the lives of others and think they, the controllers, are so “enlightened” and “righteous?” Have they forgotten that they are supposed to be making decisions, not as they themselves might make for self, but rather, as Gary would want the decisions made?
It can only be one way or the other — forgotten or don’t care. I’m betting on the latter from all that I have witnessed throughout the past few years. I’m not impressed. Neither should anyone else be.
Gary and Sara Harvey were married and took their vows quite seriously. How dare anyone step in and suggest the person Gary was, the decisions he made and the vows he took were of nothingness and count no longer. How dare anyone suggest that his wishes don’t count because he can’t communicate them at present? That’s what his guardian or power of attorney is supposed to do in his behalf, isn’t it? Maybe if we shout it loud enough, their memories will be refreshed and the latter will remember they are supposed to be Gary’s voice, if they are going to take the position they have, until he can take his life back over.
Sara, Gary’s bride, took Gary out into the fresh air and beauty of the day. (She did have permission.) The guardian(s) shut Gary up in a room and restrict visitation.
Sara, Gary’s bride, fought (and continues to fight) to save Gary’s life. The guardian(s) took part in a so-called ethics committee decision to petition the court to allow him be starved and dehydrated to death?
Sara, Gary’s bride fought to get the defective trachea apparatus replaced. (The apparatus was not for breathing.) The guardian(s) did nothing and neither did the medical staff it seems, until she forced the issue?
Sara, Gary’s bride, wanted/wants Gary to have physical therapy and to be up in his chair. The guardian(s) and staff seem to prefer getting DNR’s and keeping the door shut?
(What if something were to happen behind those closed doors? Oh, never mind. If he chokes — stand by and watch or come back later? DNR enforced?)
Sara, Gary’s bride, wants a second opinion. The guardian(s) and their play pals are fighting the effort. Why? Aren’t they supposed to be looking out for their ward’s best interest and doing everything possible to ensure he gets the best possible care and every chance to get better? Aren’t they supposed to see that Gary gets the medical care he would want, the same medical care the insurance pays for others with like medical issues.
Oh. I guess I was mistaken about the purpose of the guardian(s), pals, healthcare personnel and quite a few of the other system peoples. I didn’t know the guardians now force or give out divorces, or same as.
I didn’t know the guardian(s), pals and the rest of the gang are free to impose THEIR wishes and desires on others who happen to fall within their clutches.
I know now and I don’t like what I found out. I don’t like this cruel and out-of-control power grab that dismisses vows and commitments between two people simply because they can.
I don’t like this cruel and out-of-control power grab that allows true and complete facts to be replaced by half-truths and innuendos that paint a picture untrue.
Let’s for a moment, decide that Sara is unfit to be the guardian of her husband. What is the worst she could do? Fulfill the DNR that the system — not she put on him? And just why would she fight so hard for him to then do their bidding or to prove that Gary was better off in their heartless little hands?
People need to think.
They need to think because who knows who will be next to fall into the hands of guardians that aren’t acting for the ward as the ward would act for self. They need to think because who knows who will be next to have their wedding vows and whole married life dismissed as nothing and irrelevant as though the commitment “until death do us part” was only some words thrown in to make it sound good in front of the person officiating and crowd at hand that day.
Everyone, but especially those who love their spouses, family and friends, needs to take Sara & Gary Harvey’s plight quite seriously. Don’t think it couldn’t happen to you. Think instead… how will you feel when it does?
Carrie Hutchens is a former law enforcement officer and a freelance writer who is active in fighting against the death culture movement and the injustices within the judicial and law enforcement systems.