The Measure of a Man

You know, Bob, when I thought about it a little more, I realized what you were doing with this collage. I believe I overreacted to it at first, thinking that you were attacking Obama and implying that he wasn’t doing any actual work. However, I can see now that you were saying that all three men were “willing to get dirty and do a little real work.” In fact, you did a good job of challenging our deeply held notions that so-called “women’s work” (doing indoor charity work at a homeless shelter) isn’t really work at all.

You’ve rightfully caught on to a positive cultural shift—that “manly” (or, to be more accurate, “humanly”) work isn’t about how much a man hauls or sweats. Real work is about being called out of ourselves in service to our neighbors. Thanks for pointing out that Obama is seen here working just as much as Reagan and Bush were.

I can say this for you, Erin: in light of my previous conversations with Cory, your husband could learn a lot from you. (He'll have to learn how to be a man on his own, though :-)

Sheesh. Do you have any idea how dim-witted this makes you look…?

Wow. Some white men are really insecure about their masculinity, especially when confronted with a powerful, confident, articulate black man.

Don't you mean, as Joe Biden put it, an "articulate and bright and clean" black man?

Seriously, though, some liberals might be, since they seem to enjoy the soft bigotry of reduced expectations. Some are so insecure about their masculinity that they also pander to feminists, unable to simply live out the masculinity God created them with.

You'll seldom see either of those hangups among conservatives, however; we estimate the measure of a man by the content of his character, rather than his skin color, nor are we afraid to appreciate the different gifts God has given both men and women.

I should never underestimate your capacity for non sequitur.

Joe Biden: irrelevant.

"content of his character": your original post was all about image, not character.

"masculinity God created them with" -- huh? The only thing I can read from this is that when Obama hangs curtains and my wife gets her hands dirty working in the garden, they are somehow defying God's will.

"pander to feminists": oh Bob. I take the feminist line because it is against my principles to try proving my point by getting into a silly macho showdown. I also take the feminist line because (darn, I am about to violate my principles) beating you in a silly macho showdown (what, clearing brush? hauling railroad ties? building a deck? biking 50 miles?) would be far too easy.

I never underestimate your ability to emphasize the irrelevant and minimize the important. This silly little tease of a collage really got under your skin, didn't it? You might ask yourself why you're so sensitive about such things...if you're not afraid of the answer you might find, that is.

It was also you (as liberals usually do) who seems to consider a person's skin color to be of paramount importance to every issue. I merely pointed out that, as a truly visionary black man once pointed out, the content of one's character is vastly more important than the color of their skin. Perhaps if liberals could get beyond that whole race fixation and white-guilt thing you have, then you could treat everyone more fairly and not expect less of minorities by pandering to them with affirmative action and special protections.

What you obviously missed in my comment about a man's "masculinity God created them with" is that, rather than suck up to women the way you do, men should simply act within the healthy male talents and gifts God has given them, and so should women. Men shouldn't be so insecure about their masculinity that they would fear to be seen hanging curtains (I've hung more than a few myself), but neither should they feel insecure or even contemptuous at a masculine display of ruggedness and strength. Likewise, women shouldn't feel compelled (as many feminists do) to act like a man or do everything a man can do in order to feel valuable (though my mother was a farm woman who could put in a full day in the field like anyone), neither should they be ashamed of their feminine inclinations and gifts.

Your insecurity both about your own masculinity and your lack of ease in relation to women shines through embarrassingly at times. Try to work on doing as I said--simply appreciating your masculine gifts (without envy or contempt of other men) and the feminine gifts of the women you encounter (without shameless pandering)--and I think you'll be much more at peace with yourself and those around you.

It's not a silly tease. Whenever you say something wrong, you try to escape the argument by calling it a joke and then branding your critics as something bad. But you then leave the meme up with no disclaimer to keep spreading the bad philosophy. Talk about pernicious lies.

So here I go defending my manhood, which you of course wil predictably twist into saying I'm insecure. (I know, I can't win, but I love fighting losing battles.) Where do you find eveidence that I don't appreciate my "masculine" gifts? Let me roll around in your worldview for a moment: I love my "masculine" gifts. I love working, sweating, getting dirty, whatever it is that you ascribe to "masculinity." But I also enjoy thinking and writing -- is that feminine or masculine? I enjoy teaching, which I usually do in a shirt and tie in a climate-controlled room -- is that masculine or feminine? I enjoy volunteering for Habitat for Humanity and serving my community -- is that masculine or feminine? And if a woman comes up to the Habitat job site to help me hammer in a floor joist, should I scold her for violating God's will, or should I say, "Thanks for the help?" Of all the work I do, what work does the Lord look at and say, "Now, Cory, stop being a girly man. That's woman's work"?

But back to the original post: your response here is so far from the original implications that its laughable. You attempt to feminize Barack Obama. You use feminization as if feminine qualities are a bad thing. That's sexist. You can't hide behind the God's will/separate roles argument. You yourself backtrack and talk about your own work hanging curtains (oops: contradicting the original thesis of the post), a fact which I will never ever use to imply that you are a sissy. But you will make that implication about another man, as you do about me every time I make the "feminine" suggestion that such implications are sexist and wrongheaded.

But let me end by playing your word game:

Your insecurity, Bob, about your own masculinity and your lack of ease in relation to women shines through embarrasingly at times. Try working on doing as I do -- simply appreciating your gifts (without envy or contempt of other men, as was your clear intent in the original post) and the gifts -- masculine, feminine, or however you want to categorize them -- of all of the men and women you encounter (without shameless pandering to the insecure men who need their fragile machismo reinforced by such bogus comparisons) -- and you will be much more at peace with yourself and those around you.

Uh, Cory, you long ago provided all the proof anyone would ever need about your insecurity. The way you suck up to women on a regular basis is transparent (to everyone but you, apparently) and quite laughable if it weren't so sad.

One more proof: you feel compelled to respond to a photo collage and one sentence with multiple defenses here and a post of your own, with your latest defense here coming in at 453 words.

Why don't you try lightening up and just be a man. I know that's hard for liberal males to do, but just accepting your masculinity and not feeling guilty about it would take you a long way.

Talk about defensive: you're the one who keeps jumping on folks who disagree with you and every time going for the personal attack.

When one sentence contains so much wrong, it's worth a response. You put it up for public consumption and comment; are you saying you don't want responses any longer than, "Yes, Bob, you're right and funny?" Since word count is now an issue (and how many words do you write every day to promote your worldview?), perhaps I should just say "I know you are, but what am I?"

So defending equal rights is sucking up to women? Well, that's a convenient dodge. I'd explain further, but I don't want to be totally spanked by Bob's profound word-count argument again. (But watch: if I offer short responses, Bob will say I'm a member of the drive-by media, talking in sound bites but never putting together a coherent response. Bob offers sophistry at its best.)

Some folks obviously don't have enough sense to realize when they're just digging their grave even deeper.

Do us all a favor, Cory, and just grow up. Don't even bother trying to be a man for now; just grow up.

Seriously? Why isn't serving at a homeless shelter for teenagers considered real work? He painted, too--is that manly enough for you? I think it says a lot about a man whether he's willing to work in actual service to someone else or merely clean up a little around his own ranch.

As I said, Erin, it says a lot about a man, whether he's willing to do some real work, not just hang a curtain for a photo op.

Maybe that's why Obama is so hostile to the free market and the American way of life: living on grants and government largess all his life, he has no idea what it's like to do some real work for a living.